I do not intend each of my posts to be about my weekly reaction to my experiences at Mass. I, unfortunately, was inspired again.
Since Sunday I have been mulling over in my mind the Gospel reading and the subsequent homily. Initially, I was quite angry about the failure of the priest to find a suitable and successful way to bring the Gospel about Thomas' doubting that Jesus had returned to the congregation's lives. From my perspective, I have often felt bad for Thomas. He is set up to fail; he was not there and can we not believe that was on purpose? He doubts and then is given proof--tangible proof--and he understands and has faith, probably better than the others who were there when Jesus first appeared. I have sat through other homilies where the priest then referenced those who believe and have not had the same proof and included contemporary Catholics in that group. Can we not understand and sympathize with Thomas' lack of faith? The priest spent his allotted time condemning us worldly materialistic folk for not spending time in our busy day in prayer. We chase after money and work and give little pause to what is really important--our faith. Well, sure we do. Or I do. Not to sound anti-clerical, but I have rent and bills to pay. How about you, Father?
Ah, but I am getting angry again. I think I am more disappointed that once again, the focus was placed upon failure and no help was given to us/me as how to do better. Once again, I failed (apparently because I have doubts, shape my life around worldly matters like earning a living, and wish I could take a vacation). This is the Easter Season. Should there not be a bit of joy?
So, I struggle to be a good Catholic. Then I am confronted with an
academic blog that criticizes women of faith for participating in organized religion as if our brains have left us and we are mere dupes of male oppressors, aka the Church Hierarchy. (In the case of the above blog, the author, the excellent scholar
Historiann, is not in question, but some of her
commenters. The linked post draws attention to the Vatican's inquiry into the
Leadership Conference of Women Religious and some "areas of concern" with this organization.) As an academic
and a feminist
and a Catholic, it can be tricky to unite all my ideas and beliefs into one world view. I, however, will not discard one for the other. There has to be a way to find space for all sides.
Trees,
