Dr. Crazy over at Reassigned Time has a post (a few posts ago) about taking time or not taking time off between undergraduate and graduate schools. I believe it began with a post by Tenured Radical, but I enjoy Dr. Crazy's perspective on things and it is her entry that makes me post this afternoon.
Having proper momentum and the right amount of ambition is very important for academics. We dedicate our lives to research and writing while working as teachers or at some other profession (because research and writing does not pay the bills, much). It is hard to do basically two jobs, plus the "work" of keeping her personal life going (including occasionally vacuuming your floors and cleaning your bathroom). Dr. Crazy commented on why she did not take a break in between her undergraduate and graduate studies and I heartily agree with every reason for pushing on through. It is exhausting mentally and physically, but it is an important lesson in momentum, and the other thing I learned from high school physics, inertia. A body at rest tends to stay at rest. In my case, I went from undergrad to my masters program, but changed graduate schools for my doctorate. This was kind of a big deal because I was not very successful in my masters program. I was not unsuccessful, but I was not the shining star of the department. I was ill prepared emotionally (I was clueless) for the riggers of grad school. A bunch of overly ambitious, insecure history students all vying for the attention of a couple established scholars at a time when Women's history was dominated by theory. I am surprised we didn't have weekly cry-fests, men included, over the pressure.
I left that program in search of one that fit me and my own ambitions and I found one. But, it took over a year and two application cycles to land where I was meant to be. (I am not one for fate and destiny, but there are place and times when people are where they a meant to be.) I, however, came very close to not getting in to a new program. Then what? I had to face the possibility of not realizing my "vocation." I would be stuck, in place, with very prospects and frankly a dampened spirit. (I also had the good fortune of being dumped during my masters experience. Good fortune because he turned out to be the worst person for me.) Crisis averted, I got in and I was very grateful and filled with renewed ambition. I managed to handle myself in classrooms, strove to over come any residual shyness from my youth (which still lingers, but teaching beat that down fairly well). I had a research and professional agenda. I faced the possibility that more graduate school could lead me further and further away from marriage, children, etc., what all my college friends were doing. By my late twenties, I was back on track.
I was also really tired. I worked full time to support myself in school and amassed a sizable student loan debt. And I got really tired. It took a long time to finish my PhD, but I did it. Got married in between, moved a couple times, other personal stuff happened, and here I am. I am forty, really tired, and not sure where my career is going. I am bound by place because I could not imagine living apart from my Beloved Husband. Yet, in a few months, I will have a draft of a book and a new job.
So, momentum. If I had kept going and not changed programs, my life would be a bit different. Maybe I would have that tenure track position. The ambitious part of me covets that life. I know that I am the only one that keep my current momentum going. I do not regret the change and all the good things that happened in between. I am quite satisfied with most everything. I am still very tired. Seriously, I wish I could get some rest and feel refreshed for a new day of work. I have a sneaky suspicion no one I know is wide awake; everyone is tired. Now, for another cup of coffee and I will keep moving to finish that draft.
Having proper momentum and the right amount of ambition is very important for academics. We dedicate our lives to research and writing while working as teachers or at some other profession (because research and writing does not pay the bills, much). It is hard to do basically two jobs, plus the "work" of keeping her personal life going (including occasionally vacuuming your floors and cleaning your bathroom). Dr. Crazy commented on why she did not take a break in between her undergraduate and graduate studies and I heartily agree with every reason for pushing on through. It is exhausting mentally and physically, but it is an important lesson in momentum, and the other thing I learned from high school physics, inertia. A body at rest tends to stay at rest. In my case, I went from undergrad to my masters program, but changed graduate schools for my doctorate. This was kind of a big deal because I was not very successful in my masters program. I was not unsuccessful, but I was not the shining star of the department. I was ill prepared emotionally (I was clueless) for the riggers of grad school. A bunch of overly ambitious, insecure history students all vying for the attention of a couple established scholars at a time when Women's history was dominated by theory. I am surprised we didn't have weekly cry-fests, men included, over the pressure.
I left that program in search of one that fit me and my own ambitions and I found one. But, it took over a year and two application cycles to land where I was meant to be. (I am not one for fate and destiny, but there are place and times when people are where they a meant to be.) I, however, came very close to not getting in to a new program. Then what? I had to face the possibility of not realizing my "vocation." I would be stuck, in place, with very prospects and frankly a dampened spirit. (I also had the good fortune of being dumped during my masters experience. Good fortune because he turned out to be the worst person for me.) Crisis averted, I got in and I was very grateful and filled with renewed ambition. I managed to handle myself in classrooms, strove to over come any residual shyness from my youth (which still lingers, but teaching beat that down fairly well). I had a research and professional agenda. I faced the possibility that more graduate school could lead me further and further away from marriage, children, etc., what all my college friends were doing. By my late twenties, I was back on track.
I was also really tired. I worked full time to support myself in school and amassed a sizable student loan debt. And I got really tired. It took a long time to finish my PhD, but I did it. Got married in between, moved a couple times, other personal stuff happened, and here I am. I am forty, really tired, and not sure where my career is going. I am bound by place because I could not imagine living apart from my Beloved Husband. Yet, in a few months, I will have a draft of a book and a new job.
So, momentum. If I had kept going and not changed programs, my life would be a bit different. Maybe I would have that tenure track position. The ambitious part of me covets that life. I know that I am the only one that keep my current momentum going. I do not regret the change and all the good things that happened in between. I am quite satisfied with most everything. I am still very tired. Seriously, I wish I could get some rest and feel refreshed for a new day of work. I have a sneaky suspicion no one I know is wide awake; everyone is tired. Now, for another cup of coffee and I will keep moving to finish that draft.
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