I am so close to finishing my project, you know the History Project, I could cry (or laugh, or fall into a pile of goo). I am not done yet, but I am close. Added to that is the very real possibility that a press might publish it. I am very far away from that, but I went from being in darkness to mostly darkness but someone turned on a light in the hallway outside the dark room that I am in. Or something like that.
I do not want to think positively. Really, it would seem like a bad idea to think positively about things at this juncture. As if something good will of course happen. Now, many good things happen to me and I have had a rather easy time of things. That said, this type of good thing has not happened to me and I really wish it would so that I can have tangible proof that I am, well, sort of successful. So there is a bit of hope and that can be very dangerous. Because if I hope, then that will work against me. The Fates or whatever will crush my dreams, or something melodramatic like that. (I am nothing if not melodramatic.)
Have you ever been frightened of hope? Or rather, wary of the potential for good things to happen?
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