The End is Near

I am correcting papers this afternoon. This is the last small paper before my students turn in their final paper next week. Then the semester will be over. Lots of things will be over and I am slightly sad about that. I will start a new job at the end of the summer and I have mixed feelings about the change. I will discuss that at another time when I have more time to think about it.

No, today I am focusing on these small papers and I cannot help but wonder if I have done any good this semester. I have worked very hard this semester on my History Project. It has taken up a lot of my time and definitely my energy. As I am writing all the time, I cannot get away from it. This Sunday at Mass, after ransacking my own purse for paper, I asked my Beloved Husband in whispered tones if he had some receipts in his pockets I could use. So, instead of listening to the homily, I took notes. Periodically throughout the Mass, when I was supposed to be paying attention, I leaned over to BH and whispered crazy things like "remember feminism" so that we would both keep these ideas in our collective heads. I think the people in the pews around us inched away ever-so slowly to make sure the lightening bolt did not hit them when God smote us.

So, I am distracted and I fear that I have not done my best this semester. Have my students learned anything about religious women's history? Have they learned anything about writing and crafting a coherent argument? You may be wondering, gentle reader(s) if I ask these questions because I am correcting small papers. If you are, then you would be 100% right! As I read these papers, I notice the same mistakes that my students have made all semester long. They are not reading directions. They did not incorporate all the materials I asked from them. They are for the most part reasonably intelligent people and so my only conclusion is this: they do not care. They do not care enough to do all they can to do well. Sure, sure, they have lots going on in their lives and my class is not the only one they take. I cannot help but think that I have not conveyed to them the seriousness and importance of the class. They are at the end and they want to be elsewhere.

I cannot fight this, because I too am at the end. My focus is elsewhere and upon other matters. This is not the first semester that my schedule has been full of many different responsibilities and obligations. It seems, however, that I have not managed to compensate. It saddens me on some level that I have not given my students my best. At the same time, I am tired and I need to move on from this schedule. Now that it is almost over, I hope that my students leave my class with something positive. I hope, despite my crazy semester, they have profited from the course.