Let me start by saying I love the movie, Philadelphia Story. I love Katherine Hepburn in this movie. Kudos go to Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, and all the supporting cast. I am of the mind that High Society is only good when Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra sing, except with Frank sings that song, drunk, to Grace Kelly. My apologies for speaking ill of the dead, but Ms. Kelly, her highness, was the weakest link of that remake of Philadelphia Story.
With all that said, I have always felt uncomfortable with the subplot of the story of Tracy Lord's father's affair. Tracy is mad at her father and encourages her mother to kick the philanderer out of the house, which she does. All this happens before the play/movie begins. We learn throughout the progress of the movie that Tracy, in the past, failed to have compassion for anyone, including her first husband C. K. Dexter Haven (Cary Grant), who had a drinking problem. All this works and is understandable. We know that Dext's drinking is bad, but her lack of sympathy and kindness towards him is also not so nice.
Yet, then there is her father. It is never said outright in the play/movie that Seth Lord has an affair, but everywhere implied. (Her Uncle Willie, is a notorious pincher of women, so apparently the philandering gene is omnipresent in the family.) Through the course of the movie, Tracy comes to learn that she has had a wrong view of human frailty. It is pointed out to her in blunt terms, one body blow after another, until she is humbled and confused, and then, she meets her parents and see how they have "made up." (Mary Nash, who plays Mrs. Margaret Lord, is excellent in this role. On the surface she seems like a ditz, but in reality she sees and feels things deeply.) At this point in the plot, Tracy is chastised again, but this time by her father. He pretty much tells her that he had an affair because she, his daughter, was not doting enough. She did not have blind affection for him, so therefore he felt unloved, and therefore sought blind affection from a younger woman, a dancer.
Here is the scene in question from Philadelphia Story:
Mr. Lord: .....What most wives fail to realize is that their husband's philandering has nothing whatever to do with them.
Tracy: Oh? Then, what has it to do with?
Mr. Lord: A reluctance to grow old, I think. I suppose the best mainstay a man can have as he gets along in years is a daughter - the right kind of daughter.
Tracy: How sweet!
Mr. Lord: No, no. I'm talking seriously about something I've thought over thoroughly. I've had to. I think a devoted young girl gives a man the illusion that youth is still his.
Tracy: Very important, I suppose.
Mr. Lord: Oh, very, very. Because without her, he might be inclined to go out in search of his youth. And that's just as important to him as it is to any woman. But with a girl of his own full of warmth for him, full of foolish, unquestioning, uncritical affection -
Tracy: None of which I've got -
Mr. Lord: None. You have a good mind, a pretty face, a disciplined body that does what you tell it to. You have everything it takes to make a lovely woman except the one essential - an understanding heart. And without that, you might just as well be made of bronze.
Tracy (deeply hurt): That's an awful thing to say to anyone.
Mr. Lord: Yes, it is indeed.
Tracy: So, I'm to blame for Tina Mara, am I?
Mr. Lord: To a certain extent, I expect you are.
Tracy: You coward.
Mr. Lord: No. But better that than a prig or a perennial spinster, however many marriages.
Mrs. Lord: Seth, that's too much.
Mr. Lord: I'm afraid it's not enough, Margaret. I'm afraid nothing is.
Tracy: What, what did you say I was?
Mr. Lord: Do you want me to repeat it?
Tracy: 'A prig and a...' You mean, you think I think I'm some kind of a goddess or something?
Mr. Lord: If your ego wants it that way, yes. Also, you've been talking like a jealous woman.
Tracy: 'A...' What's the matter with everyone all at once, anyhow?
At this point, Tracy, attacked on all sides, starts drinking. We know that she does not drink much because she does not like the way alcohol makes her lose control. Once drunk, she has a great time, but stumbles. For those of you have not seen the movie, I will not reveal how it ends. Needless to say, it ends perfectly.
I am uncomfortable with the above dialogue because Seth Lord tries to push his own guilt off on someone else, his child. Yes, his philandering has little to do with his wife; it has everything to do with his own failings, his own sins. Blaming his child, albeit a grown one, is simply wrong. Is this a reflection of its time? Hepburn was no stranger to feminism. I highly doubt she would associate herself with a production (she was in the stage version of it as well) if it demeaned women. Tracy's behavior after she starts drinking and how she echoes all the criticism laid at her (especially those of Dexter) to Macaulay Connor (Jimmy Stewart) after consuming at least 2 bottles of champagne are poignant and telling. (I won't get into the willingness of Miss Imbry to sublimate her own desires and feelings to Connor's, even as he thinks he is in love with Tracy. That is for another time.)
When it comes to marriage or any type of solemn vow, breaking that vow is a grave and selfish offense. Ultimately, the bigger lesson is that don't judge people too harshly, because no one is above sin or failure. Yet, it still bothers me that Seth Lord says what he does to his daughter. They "make up" before the end of the movie, but how does one really come back from what he says to her?
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