Thoughts on a Chilly December Late Afternoon

It is December already and I have not posted since October.  I am currently sitting in my office and thinking about blogging and my lack thereof.  I am also thinking about my work, my job, and (not to sound too much like a pretentious undergrad) the purpose of both.  Currently, I have a great deal of work to do that does not relate to my actual job--the one that actually pays me.  This is all very odd.  Beloved Husband is a professor and he is paid to teach, meet with students, serve on committees, and keep himself engaged as a scholar.  It is a lot and when he talks about committee work and other headache-producing things, I am glad I do not have to deal with that stuff.  When he talks about teaching and when he is very productive as a scholar, I start to long for something different than what is before me.

I work within an academic setting, but more in the administration side of things.  (No I am not an administrator or a dean or anything of any sort of power or influence.)  I work in an environment where we all care very much about the condition of higher education and the best form that should take with regards to faith and Christianity, but I have not been near a classroom since I started this job.  I am in an academic environment, but I have to squeeze minutes that do not exist from the day to be productive as a historian.

And it is December.  Christmas is approaching, a happy thought.  I am listening to some delightful music on 8 Tracks this afternoon.  I follow this photography blog and the author periodically posts a playlist to 8 Tracks.  This afternoon, I have been listening to those he has posted in previous Decembers.   As the light starts to fade from the day, my desk lamp becomes the only thing to illuminate my office.  I do not mind as the room becomes increasingly close.  The desk lamp in a darkened room has always been a comfort to me.   It provides a protective barrier between me and distractions, focusing my thoughts on the page in front of me.  It also softens the hard edges of a room in a way that a glaring florescent overhead light definitely does not.  Florescent lighting makes everything so ugly.  Those ugly distractions...

I think about this as I look at my list of things to do--that list of things that do not have anything to do with my job here.  Those things on my list inspire and engage me.  Do not get me wrong.  My job is quite a good one.  I like it and our mission, and I enjoy the people with whom I work.  That to do list, however, has the potential to fulfill me in a completely different way.  Finding a means of serving both "jobs" is what I struggle with on a daily basis.  Am I doing a good job?  Am I being a good scholar?

The list, oh that list...